Gay and Lesbian Connection

Thank you Google!  For providing equal rights to ALL your employees by equalizing the added tax gay people are required to pay in order to receive domestic partner health benefits. Under federal law, health benefits provided by employers for domestic partners are considered taxable income. It’s a tax that heterosexual married couples do not have to pay (heterosexuals have the option of avoiding the tax by getting married—gays do not have that option.)  The result of this unfair tax of domestic partner benefits is that gay employees must pay about $1069 more per year in taxes than married employees.  When a gay employee pointed out the disparity, Google looked at what they could do to put “same-sex couples on an even footing with heterosexual employees whose spouses and families receive health benefits.”  So Google agreed to reimburse their gay employees to make up for the difference in the unfair tax.  

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There were about 150,000 GLBT people at Gay Days in Orlando, one of the largest gay-pride events in the world.   They came from all over the country, and the world to celebrate their pride in being who they are.   It was amazing to see such a diverse community of GLBT people, lots in red shirts, many with their families feeling free to be OUT in the world, in this case Disney World.

A friend of mine has a son who was working at Disney during Gay Days.  “Mom, they’re just regular people,” he said.  

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Coming out to oneself can be a confusing and difficult process with several hurdles to cross.  First, there’s making the discovery that you are gay.  Then, there’s coming to terms with your same-sex feelings.  Next, it’s wondering, am I the only one with such feelings? It’s challenging for sure.  Society may be more accepting of gay people than ever before, but there is still a stigma attached to same-sex attraction, and of course, the biggest obstacle for most people is the fear that their families won’t be accepting.   That happens, but people can change.  A favorite quote from Carol Lynn Pearson:  When dogma collides with reality, when the people involved are those you love, you see with different eyes. Even unaccepting parents can begin to see things differently with time.    

 If you are at the point in your process that you are ready to come out, there are lots of books that can help you and your parents.  Also, for support check out www.PFLAG.org to find a chapter near you.    

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If you’re thinking about coming out to your parents, and think your parents could use a little help here’s a suggestion.  Check out a free article for parents: 8 Things Parents Need to Know When Their Child Comes Out at www.restoftheway.com and click on Free Article.   Also the article could help if you’re already out and your parents are struggling.  

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 According to a new Gallop poll, the majority of Americans now support gay relationships.  We may still have a way to go, but we are certainly headed in the right direction.  And it appears we have finally reached the tipping point in gay acceptance.

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Here are two good quotes for the week:

This from Betty White, an American Treasure

As someone who’s been proudly advocating for equal rights and supporting GLBT causes for as long as I can remember, I know how much it means to young people struggling with their sexuality to see out and proud actors succeeding in their work without having to keep their sexuality a secret.

And this from U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer

In the greatest of all democracies, it hurts my heart that in the year 2010, we would still treat some members of our society as 2^nd class citizens, and use them to score political points or gain votes or power.

Thanks to these powerful women for speaking out against homophobia.   

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The Rest of the Way: A Coming Out Story for Parents and Gay Children by Enid Jackowitz is now available at Malaprops Book Store and Cafe in Ashville, NC.  Hear Enid speak about her journey from rejection and homophobia to acceptance and advocacy at Malaprops on Monday, August 9, 2010 at 7 PM.

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This from Howard Dean at a DADT demonstration yesterday at the White House.

 …This is about what’s right, not only for America but what’s right for our military….we can’t afford to lose any talented people, and to kick talented people out of the military because they happen to be gay or lesbian makes no any sense at all. 

This isn’t a tough one…the American people know this is the right thing to do.  They want to have a strong military and they understand the stronger the military, the more people in the military that want to serve, the better military that we have. …The first guy who took a bullet in Iraq, a staff sergeant in the US army was a gay man.  If somebody is brave enough to take a bullet for the United States of America then they ought to have equal rights under the law…just like everybody else.  

This is really about not just equality for a community striving for equality, this is about what kind of a county we are, whether we’ll stand up for those who stand up for us, and about us having the strongest possible military.  This is a community that’s demonstrated their courage.  They’ve given their lives, and now it’s time to allow them to say who they are.  

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On May 11^th, Veterans Lobby Day, hundreds of current and former members of the military will deliver a message to Congress: Put an end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year.   For more information go to:  www.VeteransLobbyDay.org

Here’s a story from the first American soldier wounded in Iraq: 

I signed up for the Marines when I was just 19 years old. I served for 13 years, from Somalia to California to Japan, and then shipped out to Iraq. Three hours into the start of the ground war, I stepped on a landmine and almost lost my life.

I was the first American soldier wounded in Iraq; I received a Purple Heart, and President Bush visited me in the hospital. As I slowly recovered, the shame of this policy that forced me, and thousands of other soldiers to hide began to enrage me.

I traveled to Washington and came out with my story, which was all over the national news. The response blew me away. Almost every single Marine I’d served with – gay and straight – called me with support. And I’ve been fighting this fight ever since.

This campaign has been building for the past three years.  Lobby Day is an opportunity to speak out before Congress takes action on the National Defense Authorization Act – the bill that should contain the repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” language.

Let’s hope they listen.

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Some interesting stats from Human Rights Campaign (HRC)’s new report, “Degree’s of Equality: A National Study Examining Workplace Climate for LGBT Employees.”

According to Joe Solmonese, president of the HRC Foundation, the study will help understand LGBT worker’s experiences, as well as reasons workers choose to disclose their identity—or not.  

When working in an environment not considered gay friendly:

     ·      13% of LGBT employees fear actual physical harm

·      17% believe they will be fired 

·      21% searched for a new job 

·      28% believe it will hurt their promotion opportunities 

·      Nearly 50% feel very uncomfortable having conversations about their social lives, relationship status, and the topic of sex (thought to be essential in building productive work relationships)

·      51% don’t reveal their sexual orientation to all their co-workers 

·      62% say someone in their workplace makes jokes or derogatory comments about “minority” groups

·      Most LGBT workers don’t report instances of anti-LGBT remarks 

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