Gay and Lesbian Connection

Coming out to oneself can be a confusing and difficult process with several hurdles to cross.  First, there’s making the discovery that you are gay.  Then, there’s coming to terms with your same-sex feelings.  Next, it’s wondering, am I the only one with such feelings? It’s challenging for sure.  Society may be more accepting of gay people than ever before, but there is still a stigma attached to same-sex attraction, and of course, the biggest obstacle for most people is the fear that their families won’t be accepting.   That happens, but people can change.  A favorite quote from Carol Lynn Pearson:  When dogma collides with reality, when the people involved are those you love, you see with different eyes. Even unaccepting parents can begin to see things differently with time.    

 If you are at the point in your process that you are ready to come out, there are lots of books that can help you and your parents.  Also, for support check out www.PFLAG.org to find a chapter near you.    

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If you’re thinking about coming out to your parents, and think your parents could use a little help here’s a suggestion.  Check out a free article for parents: 8 Things Parents Need to Know When Their Child Comes Out at www.restoftheway.com and click on Free Article.   Also the article could help if you’re already out and your parents are struggling.  

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 According to a new Gallop poll, the majority of Americans now support gay relationships.  We may still have a way to go, but we are certainly headed in the right direction.  And it appears we have finally reached the tipping point in gay acceptance.

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Here are two good quotes for the week:

This from Betty White, an American Treasure

As someone who’s been proudly advocating for equal rights and supporting GLBT causes for as long as I can remember, I know how much it means to young people struggling with their sexuality to see out and proud actors succeeding in their work without having to keep their sexuality a secret.

And this from U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer

In the greatest of all democracies, it hurts my heart that in the year 2010, we would still treat some members of our society as 2^nd class citizens, and use them to score political points or gain votes or power.

Thanks to these powerful women for speaking out against homophobia.   

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The Rest of the Way: A Coming Out Story for Parents and Gay Children by Enid Jackowitz is now available at Malaprops Book Store and Cafe in Ashville, NC.  Hear Enid speak about her journey from rejection and homophobia to acceptance and advocacy at Malaprops on Monday, August 9, 2010 at 7 PM.

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This from Howard Dean at a DADT demonstration yesterday at the White House.

 …This is about what’s right, not only for America but what’s right for our military….we can’t afford to lose any talented people, and to kick talented people out of the military because they happen to be gay or lesbian makes no any sense at all. 

This isn’t a tough one…the American people know this is the right thing to do.  They want to have a strong military and they understand the stronger the military, the more people in the military that want to serve, the better military that we have. …The first guy who took a bullet in Iraq, a staff sergeant in the US army was a gay man.  If somebody is brave enough to take a bullet for the United States of America then they ought to have equal rights under the law…just like everybody else.  

This is really about not just equality for a community striving for equality, this is about what kind of a county we are, whether we’ll stand up for those who stand up for us, and about us having the strongest possible military.  This is a community that’s demonstrated their courage.  They’ve given their lives, and now it’s time to allow them to say who they are.  

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On May 11^th, Veterans Lobby Day, hundreds of current and former members of the military will deliver a message to Congress: Put an end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year.   For more information go to:  www.VeteransLobbyDay.org

Here’s a story from the first American soldier wounded in Iraq: 

I signed up for the Marines when I was just 19 years old. I served for 13 years, from Somalia to California to Japan, and then shipped out to Iraq. Three hours into the start of the ground war, I stepped on a landmine and almost lost my life.

I was the first American soldier wounded in Iraq; I received a Purple Heart, and President Bush visited me in the hospital. As I slowly recovered, the shame of this policy that forced me, and thousands of other soldiers to hide began to enrage me.

I traveled to Washington and came out with my story, which was all over the national news. The response blew me away. Almost every single Marine I’d served with – gay and straight – called me with support. And I’ve been fighting this fight ever since.

This campaign has been building for the past three years.  Lobby Day is an opportunity to speak out before Congress takes action on the National Defense Authorization Act – the bill that should contain the repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” language.

Let’s hope they listen.

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Some interesting stats from Human Rights Campaign (HRC)’s new report, “Degree’s of Equality: A National Study Examining Workplace Climate for LGBT Employees.”

According to Joe Solmonese, president of the HRC Foundation, the study will help understand LGBT worker’s experiences, as well as reasons workers choose to disclose their identity—or not.  

When working in an environment not considered gay friendly:

     ·      13% of LGBT employees fear actual physical harm

·      17% believe they will be fired 

·      21% searched for a new job 

·      28% believe it will hurt their promotion opportunities 

·      Nearly 50% feel very uncomfortable having conversations about their social lives, relationship status, and the topic of sex (thought to be essential in building productive work relationships)

·      51% don’t reveal their sexual orientation to all their co-workers 

·      62% say someone in their workplace makes jokes or derogatory comments about “minority” groups

·      Most LGBT workers don’t report instances of anti-LGBT remarks 

 

 

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Janice Langbehn and Lisa Marie Pond were setting sail on a vacation cruise with three of their four children in February 2007.  The cruise was a celebration of their 18 years together as a couple.  But, before the ship left port, Pond suffered a massive stroke and was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital (JMH) in Miami.

Because she was not considered “Family” Jackson Memorial administrators refused to allow Janice into Mary’s hospital room.  It was tragic that the hospital’s narrow definition of “Family” kept Janice from her beloved partner of 18 years at such a crucial time when she so needed the comfort of her family. Left alone for eight hours Mary slipped into a coma and died. It’s hard to believe that people could have been so callous and uncaring to allow that to happen.

This tragic incident was the catalyst that changed Jackson’s policies and procedures regarding LGBT families.  In a move that sets a new standard for Florida hospitals, Jackson Memorial Hospital has adopted a comprehensive set policies and procedures that respect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) families.  Thanks go to Equality Florida for their work in helping to ensure that LGBT families are respected, protected, and supported. JMH CEO, staff, and administrative leaders are working closely with the LGBT community to upgrade hospital policies and training procedures with the goal of making Jackson a model for how hospitals should treat gay and transgender families and patients.

Just days ago, President Obama sent out a memo stating in part, “Gay and lesbian Americans are “uniquely affected” by relatives-only policies at hospitals.  They are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives—unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated.  In his memo the President asked the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a rule that would prevent hospitals from denying visitation rights to civil partners, effective immediately. 

 …And not a moment too soon.

 “It gives me and my family some comfort to know that by sharing our story we have helped to change Jackson’s policies for the better.”- Janice Langbehn

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Looking for a gay friendly college?  Check out “The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life,” by co-author Rachel Pepper.  “Students are finding out that not only are they not being discriminated against for revealing their orientation in their applications, it may be an extra,” says Pepper.

There are scholarships and other financial help for GLBT students from such groups as the Point Foundation, the League Foundation at AT&T, and Colage (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere).

Here are some colleges to consider:

New York University had the top ranking of colleges where the gay community is “most accepted.”

The University of Pennsylvania has a new outreach policy: applicants whose essay identifies them as gay are put in touch with gay students and organizations on campus.

Yale is known for its curriculum on gay issues.

University of Southern California reaches out to applicants who identify themselves as gay or transgender.

Indiana University-Purdue University attends some 500 fairs each year, one for gay students to help the university be more open to diversity. 

State University of New York at Potsdam

Dartmouth

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