Support for legal recognition of same-sex marriage has shifted in recent years, from a narrow majority opposed in 2009 to narrow majority support now. Some of the shift stems from a generational divide, with the new poll showing a majority of Americans under age 65 in favor of legal recognition for same-sex marriages, and a majority of seniors opposed.

It’s complicated, this question of legitimizing gay marriage. And Americans are grappling with the question. A new poll that shows that the nation is narrowly split on same-sex marriage.

Fifty-three percent of the 1,000 adults surveyed believe the government should give legal recognition to marriages between couples of the same sex, about the same as last year, according to the nationwide telephone poll by The Associated Press and the National Constitution Center. Forty-four percent were opposed.

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There’s an interesting new trend in the evangelical Christian community. For many years many evangelical Christian organizations have pressured their gay members into reparative (or conversion) therapy.   But as of late that’s been changing.  

As more of the science suggests that homosexuality may be innate, support for treatments that entail changing someone’s sexual orientation are moving out of fashion. According to an article in the Orlando Sentinel by Dan Gilgoff, of CNN, even the head of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary recently said, “We have spoken carelessly and unknowledgeably in the past to just say: ‘Just change.  Just decide right now your pattern of attraction is not homosexuality but heterosexuality’…it’s not just a matter of choice.  It’s not something that’s turned on or turned off.”

Even Exodus International, a strong proponent of reparative therapy in the past has de-emphasized reparative therapy as more of the counselors in its network have abandoned the practice. 

Another very likely reason for these changes in attitudes is recent polls showing that young evangelicals are more supportive of rights for gay people than their parents.  And keeping young people in their flanks is crucial. 

The bottom line is reparative therapy does not work and most often causes harm.  “You can’t change a bird into a fish.  You can teach a bird to swim but eventually it will fly.  That’s what birds do.”  

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Views on same-sex marriage in New York State have certainly shifted since 2004.

Republican politicians and Catholic Bishops have been leading the parade to ban same-sex marriage over the last decade.  But two recent surprises in New York State will most probably raise some eyebrows among these groups.

A recent survey of New York registered voters found that a solid majority (56%) now say they would support a law that would allow same-sex couples to marry. Support for such a law by New York Jewish Voters was 60% and New York Protestant voters was 46%. 

And the poll’s finding that a majority (52%) of New York Catholic voters support allowing same-sex couples to marry–now that was a surprise. 

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Acceptance of gay marriage is definitely on the rise.

Over 20 years ago, pollsters started asking Americans about gay marriage.  That was back in 1988 when more than 70 percent of the people polled were opposed to gay marriage, and around 10 percent were in favor of it. Well here it is just two decades later and over 40 percent of those surveyed supported gay marriage.

So what’s going on?  For one thing gay rights groups and other activists have been increasingly more organized and vocal about calling for full equity in marriage. For another society has become more secular and secular arguments against same-sex marriage haven’t proved to be very persuasive. Another reason is the generational reality.  People under 30 like Barbara Bush, the Republican daughter of George W. Bush said this week, “Everyone should have the right to marry the person they love.”

So it seems it’s not just Democratic opinions that are evolving.

Another case in point is Tom Rielly, a Catholic Democrat from Oskaloosa, Iowa who recently said, “I believe marriage is a one-man, one-woman, one-time proposition. But I’m not going to use that as a test to deny someone their civil rights. For the life of me, I don’t understand how anybody can say, ‘This couple over here, you can enter into a civil contract to get health insurance, tax status, pension benefits, survivor benefits, end-of-life care. But you over here, because you’re gay, you can’t do that.”

“How is that not discriminatory?” Rielly asked.  A good question.  

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This was in response to an article that appeared in The Heritage in Orlando Florida.

I recently read Steve Lipman’s article in the Heritage; Controversy Stirs Over Therapy for ‘Curing’ Homosexuals, that tells of the goings on at the AOJS  (Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists) annual conference in Connecticut.  The AOJS gave Arthur Goldberg, director of JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality), a “reparative therapy” organization for gay Jews, permission to speak at their annual conference after a telephone conversation where Goldberg cited supportive biblical verses.      

I couldn’t help but wonder if there are any members of our community who are gay and considering “reparative therapy.” If you are, you should know that “reparative” or “conversion therapy” is soundly rejected by virtually every mainstream medical and mental health organization in America.  My advice:  Save your money. It doesn’t work. 

While it was encouraging to know that AOJS is showing an interest in the subject of homosexuality, from the article it is apparent that there was a lack of knowledge about JONAH, Arthur Abba Goldberg, and  “reparative therapy.”

Goldberg’s credentials are questionable.  According to the Lipman article, Goldberg was disbarred in New Jersey and spent 18 months in prison in 1987 for investor fraud. Truthwinsout.org described him as a mini-Madoff for defrauding people out of millions of dollars.  A simple search on Google would have revealed a wealth of information about Goldberg and JONAH that the AOJS should have known about before allowing him to speak, and, as the Lipman article suggests, give Goldberg and his organization a step toward respectability.  As far as the value of “reparative therapy”, suffice it to say that The American Psychiatric Association, The American Psychological Association, The National Association of Social Workers, and almost half a million mental health professionals have rejected and discredited “reparative therapy” programs.

“Reparative therapy” is not about teshuvah, as Goldberg would have people believe.  It is about trying to remake someone into something they are not, in order to “fix” them.   The trouble with that is I can’t help but wonder why anyone needs to repent or change his or her natural God-given sexual orientation in the first place. 

As a practicing psychotherapist for over 14 years specializing in gay and lesbian issues, one of the things I’ve learned is that we can change many things about ourselves—like the color of our hair, even the color of our eyes with contact lenses, and with plastic surgery we can change the shape of our nose.  But in my opinion, and in the opinion of the majority of psychotherapists what we cannot change is our sexual orientation.  That is part of our fundamental nature.  And that is what JONAH and other reparative therapy groups try to do. 

The reality is if someone is gay, he or she is gay. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change a bird into a fish because you don’t like the song it sings. You might teach a bird to swim, but eventually it will fly; that’s what birds do.

To purposely try to change someone who’s gay into someone who’s straight by attempting to change his or her natural sexual orientation is not only psychologically damaging, it’s downright Orwellian. 

Gay people do not need to be cured or changed. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Homosexuality is not the problem in our world today. 

Homophobia is—and it’s not a gay problem.  It’s society’s problem.

Enid Jackowitz is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice at the Center for Counseling & Consulting in Casselberry, Florida.  She is the author of, “The Rest of the Way: A Coming Out Story for Parents and Gay Children.”  www.restoftheway.com

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Bill McCollum, Florida’s Attorney General and Republican Gubernatorial hopeful would like us to believe he is open-minded when it comes to the gay community.  But his actions prove otherwise—to at least 6000 Floridians.  After top members of his staff warned against it, McCollum paid George Rekers, a notorious anti-gay activist  $120,000 of Florida’s tax dollars to testify in favor of Florida’s ban on gay adoption as an “expert” witness. Rekers, if you remember got caught traveling with a male “escort” from Rentboy.com.  When McCollum was unable to find anyone willing to testify in favor of the ban, top members of his staff advised him not to use Reker, but he ignored them—too bad. Not only did the Court consider Reker’s testimony not credible, it was found to be “far from a neutral and unbiased recitation of the relevant scientific evidence.”

Thanks to Equality Florida, 6,000 Floridians sent messages to Bill McCollum telling him that he was wrong to use taxpayer dollars to uphold an archaic ban on gay adoption that doesn’t do anything to better the lives of Florida’s children.

Telling is good.  Showing is better.  Floridians can also show McCollum that his actions were wrong in the next election.   

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There were about 150,000 GLBT people at Gay Days in Orlando, one of the largest gay-pride events in the world.   They came from all over the country, and the world to celebrate their pride in being who they are.   It was amazing to see such a diverse community of GLBT people, lots in red shirts, many with their families feeling free to be OUT in the world, in this case Disney World.

A friend of mine has a son who was working at Disney during Gay Days.  “Mom, they’re just regular people,” he said.  

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