Gay and Lesbian Connection

On May 11^th, Veterans Lobby Day, hundreds of current and former members of the military will deliver a message to Congress: Put an end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year.   For more information go to:  www.VeteransLobbyDay.org

Here’s a story from the first American soldier wounded in Iraq: 

I signed up for the Marines when I was just 19 years old. I served for 13 years, from Somalia to California to Japan, and then shipped out to Iraq. Three hours into the start of the ground war, I stepped on a landmine and almost lost my life.

I was the first American soldier wounded in Iraq; I received a Purple Heart, and President Bush visited me in the hospital. As I slowly recovered, the shame of this policy that forced me, and thousands of other soldiers to hide began to enrage me.

I traveled to Washington and came out with my story, which was all over the national news. The response blew me away. Almost every single Marine I’d served with – gay and straight – called me with support. And I’ve been fighting this fight ever since.

This campaign has been building for the past three years.  Lobby Day is an opportunity to speak out before Congress takes action on the National Defense Authorization Act – the bill that should contain the repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” language.

Let’s hope they listen.

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Some interesting stats from Human Rights Campaign (HRC)’s new report, “Degree’s of Equality: A National Study Examining Workplace Climate for LGBT Employees.”

According to Joe Solmonese, president of the HRC Foundation, the study will help understand LGBT worker’s experiences, as well as reasons workers choose to disclose their identity—or not.  

When working in an environment not considered gay friendly:

     ·      13% of LGBT employees fear actual physical harm

·      17% believe they will be fired 

·      21% searched for a new job 

·      28% believe it will hurt their promotion opportunities 

·      Nearly 50% feel very uncomfortable having conversations about their social lives, relationship status, and the topic of sex (thought to be essential in building productive work relationships)

·      51% don’t reveal their sexual orientation to all their co-workers 

·      62% say someone in their workplace makes jokes or derogatory comments about “minority” groups

·      Most LGBT workers don’t report instances of anti-LGBT remarks 

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Janice Langbehn and Lisa Marie Pond were setting sail on a vacation cruise with three of their four children in February 2007.  The cruise was a celebration of their 18 years together as a couple.  But, before the ship left port, Pond suffered a massive stroke and was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital (JMH) in Miami.

Because she was not considered “Family” Jackson Memorial administrators refused to allow Janice into Mary’s hospital room.  It was tragic that the hospital’s narrow definition of “Family” kept Janice from her beloved partner of 18 years at such a crucial time when she so needed the comfort of her family. Left alone for eight hours Mary slipped into a coma and died. It’s hard to believe that people could have been so callous and uncaring to allow that to happen.

This tragic incident was the catalyst that changed Jackson’s policies and procedures regarding LGBT families.  In a move that sets a new standard for Florida hospitals, Jackson Memorial Hospital has adopted a comprehensive set policies and procedures that respect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) families.  Thanks go to Equality Florida for their work in helping to ensure that LGBT families are respected, protected, and supported. JMH CEO, staff, and administrative leaders are working closely with the LGBT community to upgrade hospital policies and training procedures with the goal of making Jackson a model for how hospitals should treat gay and transgender families and patients.

Just days ago, President Obama sent out a memo stating in part, “Gay and lesbian Americans are “uniquely affected” by relatives-only policies at hospitals.  They are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives—unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated.  In his memo the President asked the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a rule that would prevent hospitals from denying visitation rights to civil partners, effective immediately. 

 …And not a moment too soon.

 “It gives me and my family some comfort to know that by sharing our story we have helped to change Jackson’s policies for the better.”- Janice Langbehn

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Looking for a gay friendly college?  Check out “The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life,” by co-author Rachel Pepper.  “Students are finding out that not only are they not being discriminated against for revealing their orientation in their applications, it may be an extra,” says Pepper.

There are scholarships and other financial help for GLBT students from such groups as the Point Foundation, the League Foundation at AT&T, and Colage (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere).

Here are some colleges to consider:

New York University had the top ranking of colleges where the gay community is “most accepted.”

The University of Pennsylvania has a new outreach policy: applicants whose essay identifies them as gay are put in touch with gay students and organizations on campus.

Yale is known for its curriculum on gay issues.

University of Southern California reaches out to applicants who identify themselves as gay or transgender.

Indiana University-Purdue University attends some 500 fairs each year, one for gay students to help the university be more open to diversity. 

State University of New York at Potsdam

Dartmouth

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The Shower of Stoles Project is a collection of over a thousand liturgical stoles and other sacred items representing the lives of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people of faith. These religious leaders have served in thirty-two denominations and faith traditions, in six countries, and on three continents. Each stole contains the story of a GLBT person who is active in the life and leadership of their faith community in some way: minister, elder, deacon, teacher, missionary, musician, administrator, or active layperson.

This extraordinary collection celebrates the gifts of GLBT persons who serve God in countless ways, while also lifting up those who have been excluded from service because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The collection bears witness to the huge loss of leadership that the church has brought upon itself because of its own unjust policies.

The vast majority of the stoles have been sent in by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people themselves. Some have been sent by family or friends to honor a GLBT loved one. About one third of all the stoles are donated anonymously; in fact over three-quarters of the stoles donated specifically by clergy and other full-time church professionals are done so anonymously.

In some cases, a church has sent a stole inscribed only with the church’s name, or with the names of both gay and straight members, to honor those in that particular congregation who must remain anonymous. All of the stoles, named or anonymous, contain stories, prayers, or other messages.

Straight allies are represented by “signature stoles,” which are covered with the signatures of supportive members of congregations, regional governing bodies, or other organizations. The collection currently contains signature stoles with the signatures of over three thousand straight allies.

To see the Stoles go to:  http://www.welcomingresources.org/sosp.htm

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From PFLAG Guide to Being a Straight Ally

“I always wanted to be one of those people who would make things change for my gay friends – I just wasn’t sure how or where to do it.”

Sound familiar?

Chances are it does. Across the country, thousands of straight individuals who don’t necessarily have a family member who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (GLBT) are seeing big changes in the way that their GLBT friends and colleagues are treated. If you or someone you know is straight and wants to help the gay community, join in the fight for equality, or just learn more about these issues, you’ve come to the right place. Anyone interested in any of these topics is an ally! Allies, you’ve come to the right place. Straight for Equality is the answer for you.

Straight for Equality is a national outreach and education project created by PFLAG National to empower allies in supporting and advocating for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people by:

Inviting allies to speak up

Educating allies

Engaging allies in the pursuit of equality

   We’re not talking about major political protests (although that’s certainly an option) but the tiny everyday changes – like not omitting the fact that your best friend is gay when you’re telling grandma about him – can raise awareness and challenge assumptions and stereotypes. Maybe it means objecting when someone at the office tells that really over-the-top gay joke…again. Or perhaps it is about paying attention to how a candidate stands on equality issues and making your opinion heard with your vote.

Basically, if there’s a place where you can talk to someone else, there’s an opportunity for you to put some of the things you can learn from Straight for Equality into action.

To Learn more go to www.pflag.org

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For anyone working with kids—here is a great resource.  It’s Elementary.  This amazing documentary film should be mandatory for teachers to watch.  Children have questions.  This film gives adults ways to talk with kids about prejudice toward gays.  I saw it years ago and loved it.

It’s Elementary takes cameras into classrooms across the U.S. to look at one of today’s most controversial topics – whether and how gay issues should be discussed in schools. No political debate here.  The film takes the point of view of the school children. At its heart are inspiring scenes in which elementary and middle school teachers find creative ways to confront anti-gay prejudice.

It’s Elementary is the first film of its kind to address anti-gay prejudice by providing adults with practical lessons on how to talk with kids about gay people. Hailed as “a model of intelligent directing,” It’s Elementary shows that children are eager and able to wrestle with stereotypes and absorb new facts about what it means to be gay or lesbian.

Since it aired on more than 100 public television stations in 1999, It’s Elementary has fueled a growing movement of educators and parents — gay and straight alike — who are committed to preventing pervasive homophobia and anti-gay violence. The film shows what happens when kids in kindergarten through eighth grade discuss lesbian- and gay-related topics in age-appropriate ways. It’s Elementary models excellent teaching about family diversity, name-calling, stereotypes, and community building.

It’s Elementary has won numerous awards, has been acquired by nearly 3,000 educational institutions, and has received widespread acclaim from educators, policymakers, parents and religious leaders.  Check it out!

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The Rest of the Way

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Drew Barrymore and Wanda Sykes are being honored at GLAAD’s (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) 21^st annual Media Awards on April 17^th in Los Angeles.  Ms Barrymore will receive the Vanguard Award, given to media professionals who have increased the visibility and understanding of the LGBT community. She recently played Robert De Niro’s lesbian daughter in the movie, “Everybody’s Fine,” which is also nominated for a GLAAD Media award.

Past recipients of The Vanguard Award include: Antonio Banderas, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Griffin, Eric McCormack, Liza Minnelli, Elizabeth Taylor, and Charlize Theron. 

Wanda Sykes will receive the Stephen F. Kolzak Award, given to an openly LGBT media professional who has promoted equal rights. In November 2008, Sykes came out at a Stand Out for Equality rally of over 1,000 people in Las Vegas and announced that she had legally married her wife in California.  Sykes also became the first openly gay African American woman to entertain at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner last year. 

Past recipients include Alan Ball, Bill Condon, Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, Sir Ian McKellen, and Rufus Wainwright. 

Bravo to 2 amazing women!  And to all those who came before them!

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Did you know there’s a gay and lesbian Mardi Gras Parade in Sydney Australia? I didn’t.  The march started 32 years ago and this year about 10,000 people from all over the world are expected to take part on February 27, 2010. It may be the largest gay pride celebration in the world! 

Marching in the Mardi Gras parade or in a pride parade can be an empowering experience.  Society has made so many GLBT people feel that there’s something wrong with them, when in reality it’s the other way ‘round.  There is something very wrong, but it’s with our homophobic society.  Bravo to all the participants of this years Mardi Gras Parade for taking another step forward on the journey to self- acceptance.   

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